An Accidental Meeting with Gods

Though there was curfew and shoot at sight order in some areas of Delhi, I decided to take a walk through the affected areas to know whether Delhi is back to normalcy or the so-called Gods are still sucking blood of their own creations.

Fortunately, situation was under control, I felt. But I was sure that though it looked normal, the scar would remain there and it would haunt the nation for many decades to come.

However, though Gods had killed a couple of dozen innocent people in the last few days, I could hear music everywhere and heard devotional songs, sung at times in strained voices by those who might not even be knowing its meaning, from few temples. It was as though nothing untoward happened.

That is it. Whether Gods kill or not, they must be worshipped! Praise the Lord! Allahu Akbar! Jai Sri Ram! Shit!!

And no doubt, though some gets killed, for others, life must go on!

Suddenly I found some familiar faces through the glasses of a restaurant. They were enjoying dinner together. I was sure that I had seen them before.

Suddenly I identified one among them, it was Jesus. Then it was easy for me to identify others except one as well as all have something in common! Gods who each claim creator, controller and annihilator of everything!

I could not believe my eyes as for me, it was impossible. Jesus, Muhammad Nabi, Ram and Krishna are all having dinner together. How is it possible?

I stood there for few seconds in disbelief. Then I blinked my eyes repeatedly and then looked at them again to ensure that what I was seeing was exactly what I was seeing. Yes, it was real. It was they.

I could not control my anger.

One among them, precisely Ram, had killed dozens of innocent people including children in the last few days in the same area where they were sitting and enjoying dinner together as though nothing happened.

Bloody Rascals!

Though I found it extremely difficult, I controlled my emotions. Such opportunities do not come very often.  Therefore, I decided to go inside and meet them.

I hesitated to ask but still asked, “May I join with you all?”

“Who is stopping you and who are we to stop you, dude?” it was Mumammed Nabi who was sitting facing me said that.

They all laughed.

When I heard him calling me ‘Dude’, little girl Ayisha’s scream, the very scream that came out from her little mouth when that sex maniac entered his into hers, echoed in my ears which caused me shivering with anger but I controlled myself.

Then I pulled a chair and sat next to Ram. While pulling the chair I could see him licking his fingers after putting a beef slice flavored with masala into his mouth.  From the way he was licking his fingers, it was certain that it was delicious.

That very sight of him licking his fingers doubled my anger and I shouted at him, “You bloody rascal, you killed many for eating beef and now we are not allowed to eat beef in many states but here you are enjoying it and that too after killing many innocent people in the last few days. People are forced to shout “Jai Sri Ram” but here you are enjoying beef, you ass……”

“Cool down, cool down dude”, Ram interrupted me half way. Then he continued, “Why are you blaming me? Did I ask anyone to worship me or Cow or kill people, huh? I am a mere comic character, you know! How can you blame me for some others’ wickedness?”

Though he asked those questions to me, he was looking at Krishna who, though he was listening to our heated arguments, was busy sucking bone marrow out from a chicken leg.

For a moment, he stopped it and started the conversation from where Ram left, “Hey dude, it is true that we both Ram and myself were kings but we were not Gods. I was like Mammad, yes that so-called Muthu Rasool, interested in women and therefore, I had thousands of women in my palace. Since I had a big one, they were all happy playing with me and with it.  In order to please us, minstrels like Valmiki and Vyasa wrote these comic books Ramayan and Mahabharatha. They portrayed us as Gods to please us. We neither claimed ourselves Gods nor did we ask anyone to worship us and therefore, stop shouting at us, dude and enjoy the dinner”. Then he placed the beef plate and some vegetable dishes in front of me.

“Then who is responsible for all these killings, those youth who pelted stone, fired at innocent people and set afire homes and public properties?”, I left it to anyone among them answering this question as the youth were fighting for these idiots.

“No No, they are mere pawns in the hands of some others with vested interests”, it was Muhammad Nabi who answered my question. That is when I noticed, he was tasting pork and I could find a small slice of it hanging on his fucking long beard. No change, he looked like a tribal man even now at least from the outward appearance.

He continued, “The actual culprits are leaders like Ram Nath Kovind, Narendra Modi and Amit Shah”.

“Stop your nonsense, you fucking paedophile. You and your followers were and are always like that, do all stupid things and then put blame on others. What business you have here, go to Pakistan, you moron”, I felt like I would beat him anytime but I firmly gripped my hands on the chair legs to control it but still I could not hide my anger as anyone could have easily gauged that from my facial expression then.

“That is the problem. You people don’t listen, just shout”, Muhammad Nabi continued after pausing for few seconds, “I didn’t say that I was right, nor those wicked people who now considered me as Muthu Rasool are right. Now I know I was a criminal who though I had many women as wives and slaves in my life to satisfy my sexual desires, married and raped a 6 year old little girl. Moreover, I was treating some as slaves! I deserve capital punishment. But people still believe me and whatever I said which is not my fault.”

When I heard him acknowledging his crimes, it helped me to calm down. At least he admitted his crimes. “But you had support from Allah, right?” I asked.

Suddenly the whole restaurant was echoed his laughter.  It continued for long. It was as though he was not able to control himself.

“Which Allah? That imaginary Allah that I created to hide my crimes from others and to control them and that way to lead a luxurious life?” he was struggling to control his laughter even while asking that counter question.

This time others also joined with him and their laughter hit the walls and echoed back.

I still couldn't identify the fifth person sitting there and therefore, asked him, "By the way, who are you?"

"You don't know me? I am Hanuman yaar. Okay, got it. You had so far seen a monkey-shaped Hanuman and that is why you failed to recognize me. I was like you all man, a human being. You know this caste system. This bloody Ram and his group considered themselves upper caste and treated us like monkeys and some others who had been living in forests as Rakshasas as we were all lower caste according to them.", he fumed.

"Sorry Hanu, past is past. let us enjoy the dinner", Ram tried to calm down Hanuman.

There was silence for few seconds.

Jesus then said, “Listen, I still don’t know who my father was but now there are millions of assholes around the world who believe that I am the product of Holy Spirit. It is not Holy Spirit yaar, it is Holy Shit. Only Mary, my mother knows that!!” he paused for a moment and continued, “I won’t blame those tribal folks who believed all these stupid stories then because they were ignorant. Their understating of this vast universe was very limited and therefore, some crooked minded people with vested interests in mind told them about a God they had never seen and the story of that imaginary God creating earth, sky and all the living beings on earth, they believed all these as they had not seen or heard anything beyond the flat earth and the sky that was visible to them through their naked eyes. You know, according to that story, sun was created on the fourth day and that too, after creating light, earth and heaven prior to that and it all happened just 10000 years ago! Now you have dug up fossils of some lived millions of years ago, traveled beyond the solar system and therefore, have a better understanding of this vast universe than those who lived during my time but still you all believe such stupid stories. Ridiculous! Then how can you blame Ram or anyone among us for Delhi riot?” He then grabbed a chicken leg and put its far end into his mouth. I could hear the sound of bone breaking between his teeth.

“Yes, what Mammad said is right”, Krishna said and then paused for a moment.

 I just couldn’t believe when I heard it from Krishna. Are they not enemies? Hindu supporting Muslim?

He ignored my idiotic expression and continued, “We are not responsible for what you all do now because we don’t exist. And even if we take responsibility, we cannot stop violence because we are not Gods. Few months ago, I saw Ram Nath Kovind bowing his head before a number one fraud named Sudhamani.  I saw Narendra Modi doing that. Then I saw both bowing their head before men dressed like comic characters Ram and Sita. They are all stupid. You have just seen Ram eating beef but for wicked Narendra Modi and team, cow is their mother. What nonsense is this, dude?  When such stupid people lead the country, what else can you all expect from them and blind believers? The youth who created violence in Delhi was merely following their leaders. Then did you notice one thing; let me speak some politics here. In Delhi, Police force is under Amit Shah’s control but he did nothing for few days to end violence and wherever police presence was there, they were in fact supporting the rioters. When leaders sitting in such highly responsible positions use us for their political gains, how can you blame us? We are helpless, dude."

"How can they be blamed as they had been made blind since their infancy by their parents and society by imposing any one fucking tribal belief on them that makes them slaves devoid of logical thinking? They are being controlled by few tribal men who had lived thousands of years ago, can you believe that? You may find it difficult to digest when I say that Pope Francis, Ajmal Kasab, Narendra Modi, Amit Shah and all those who believe in one religion or the other like them are all victims. Blaming them will not help. If you want a solution, you must extirpate all Tribal Belief Systems from this planet and then try to develop scientific temper, spirit of inquiry and humanism in all”, Hanuman opined.

“Hey, you are all living in a civic world and you have the best system, democracy that treats all of you equally, makes you all not slaves but masters. Then why do you want these thousands of years old Tribal Belief Systems even in this democratic era? Do you think that these belief systems will make you all better persons? Never. If they had made the believers better persons, this world would have been a better place now. Why are you letting criminals like me to control you even now? No God, God-man or God-woman can make you better persons. If you want to become a better person, you have to decide. It is your choice. And when it comes to life, make it simple. Enjoy life and let others enjoy it. It is as simple as that.” Muhammad Nabi said.

"Though you were an asshole then, what you are saying now has logic, I agree. By the way, I still have one doubt, among you all, who had actually created this earth and the living beings there?", I asked.

They erupted into laughter!

I took a beef slice and put it into my month. But before I could taste it, I woke up.

Suddenly I heard someone shouting from outside, “He has kept beef here, kill him” and then heard many hands violently knocking the door.